Forget Charles Dawin

Forget Charles Darwin.  Forget everything you learned in school about evolution.  Remember?  It was only the Theory of Evolution anyway. Creationism rules!  Homo sapiens really does co-exist with the dinosaurs! (Tilton Park Drive, DeKalb, Illinois) Our weather forecast for this weekend is for cold cold cold & snow snow snow, so this big lady, being … Continue reading Forget Charles Dawin

Fancy Fancy

I generally don’t use public bathrooms.  Unless I really have to.  I’m just kind of OCD that way.  But the other day, for the first time, I used the bathroom in the laundromat.  Shock City.  I never imagined that a laundromat would have a fancy bathroom for the ladies.  (I have no idea what the … Continue reading Fancy Fancy


(DeKalb, Illinois) “People say, ‘I’m going to sleep now,’ as if it were nothing. But it’s really a bizarre activity. ‘For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I’m going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life. If you … Continue reading Sleep

Herbert Gets Happy

Herbert was embarrassed.  He was humiliated.  His father had been a proud barn quilt square.  His mother had been a proud barn quilt square.  They had both sold to adoptive barns within a month of being painted.  But Herbert had languished unsold for months.  He was despairing of ruining the excellent family name. The county … Continue reading Herbert Gets Happy